I learned an important lesson

….and hopefully, my sharing what I experienced will prevent you from doing the same.

Hello. How are you? How have you been?

I realize it has been a while since I last wrote a blog.

I’ve been busy.

About 6 months ago I did something incredibly silly, incredibly short-sighted, something I am able to reflect on today and see just what a silly thing is that I did.

I was driving home from the gym in the evening. I had my phone on the dashboard and interacted with my phone, which was picked up by a police vehicle. Prior to this I had accumulated points for speeding on two separate occasions, so when I received a penalty for the driving offence, I had come to the maximum number of points, and was asked to attend court. It was a very scary situation. I got several character references and wore a good suit, but the book was handed to me and I lost my license to drive for a few months.

The first few weeks were tough. Getting up early, walking way more than I was used to, walking in the cold, walking in the wind, walking in the rain.

It is said there are the Seven Stages of Acceptance:

1. Shock.
2. Denial.
3. Anger.
4. Bargaining.
5. Depression.
6. Testing.
7. Acceptance.

Shock

One minute you are driving, the next you are pulled over by police, your heart is pounding, your mouth is dry, your head is spinning, and you feel like you are spiraling in a nightmare you want to desperately wake from.

Denial

You may try to convince yourself that your loss isn’t permanent or hasn’t occurred. You think “Oh I will be driving in no time” and you walk by your car and think that yesterday (court) was a bad dream, and that you have woken from this dream, and none of that happened, and you can still drive.

Anger

It begins to dawn on you that this is real, that you can’t drive, that you have to wake up early, that you have to share trains and buses with people who are coughing and sneezing, or who are talking or eating loudly. You begin to be angry and find yourself becoming short with those close to you. Worse still, you read about celebrities who did worse, and who got away with it. “It is not fair,” you think as you crawl out of bed at 6 am, trying to not wake the house as you get ready for work and to walk to the train station, knowing that a celebrity who crashed their car under the influence got a few hours of community service, and are seen driving around a few weeks later.

Bargaining

You begin to think that you may be able to speed up time, or you may think about writing to the court to ask for your sentence to be reduced. But you soon realize this will never come to pass.

Depression

After the loss, depression or a period of low mood may settle in. You may find yourself feeling sad or crying more often. You may have dreams that you are happily driving, and when you wake to realize you are not driving, reality sinks in.

Testing

You begin to think of ways to manage and move on from your loss. You may begin to think about the health benefits of waking up early or the money you may be saving by not spending money on fuel and car insurance.

Acceptance

You now begin to understand what you have lost and recognize and appreciate how important your car and your being allowed to drive was to you. You are no longer angry, and you are done with bargaining. You are ready to move on with your life.

This is not a foolproof seven-step program though

There will be hiccups. There will be times when you slip and go back to a previous stage, and progression toward acceptance may take some time and may be a case of trial and error.

If I could impart any driving advice, keep up with the latest guidance and regulations. This may be via enquiring with local police, your driving regulation authority, or opting to attend a driving course to update yourself.

Greg L

If you have your phone on the dashboard, you can use it for satellite navigation, but at no time should you touch it or interact with it while your cart is in motion or when the key is in the ignition and the car is stationary.

Closing

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and if you know of anyone who may benefit from / appreciate the blog, please recommend it to them as well. And if you are feeling low and struggling with your mental health, please know that during this difficult time of the pandemic, there is still help out there and help available. Talk to your GP. Freephone Samaritans 116 123.

There is help out there. You are not alone.

Remember: it’s a journey. It will take time. Have patience in the process. You will get there. Until then, stay happy, stay healthy, and have a lovely time wherever you are on the planet.

And remember: love yourself. And others.

Greg

References:

                     

A bit about the author:

I am a guy who is just over 40 and is sharing a journey of wellness and well-being. I am also a mental health professional with a wealth of years of experience in supporting individuals who have challenging mental illnesses and personality disorders. 

Prior to my current professional role, I spent several years supporting members of the community as a fitness professional, assisting individuals with weight loss and health improvement programs.

I completed a PGDip in Mental Health Nursing in 2013, and an MSc in Advanced Practice in 2016 in which I looked at improving nurses’ level of engagement with patients with challenging personality disorders. 

In 2018 I successfully undertook the Clinical Reasoning in Physical Assessments course, and in 2020 I commenced further training in Nurse Prescribing to train toward becoming an Advanced Nurse Practitioner and will be looking forward to supporting those in the community with mental health support and medicinal support.

In 2015 I also undertook a Mentorship for Practice (BSc Hons) course and have been supporting future nurses with their training and development. I have also recently supported a Healthcare Assistant Staff toward training in and successfully passing and achieving a Foundation Degree in Mental Health Nursing.

In my current role, I am a person looking to support the physical and mental health and well-being of the individual. Don’t think of me as a motivational coach or speaker. Think of me more as a wellness guide, as I use my mental health training and experience to suggest and advise ways to enhance your wellness and well-being. If you are struggling with your mental health though, please seek advice from a medical professional such as your GP.

I believe that it is a journey. It is a process. It will take time. But we will get there.

Remember: it’s a journey. It will take time. Have patience in the process. You will get there. Until then, stay happy, stay healthy, and have a lovely time wherever you are on the planet.

And remember: love yourself. And others.